Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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