i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
