so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
