Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize