He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
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I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
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I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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