You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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