I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
