I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
