My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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