school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
