Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize