chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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