i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
