dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
