Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
