She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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