I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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