this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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