Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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