I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
