he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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