Texts From Last Night

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  (613): View more from Ontario

  My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian

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  (613): My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian http://tfl.nu/6wog
  Replies (63) Good night (8569) Bad night (737)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...

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  (814): You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum... http://tfl.nu/p3s1
  Replies (20) Good night (7307) Bad night (2065)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.

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  (309): So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar. http://tfl.nu/wvqn
  Replies (20) Good night (7034) Bad night (1085)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.

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  (716): Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public. http://tfl.nu/lwyj
  Replies (16) Good night (1545) Bad night (3685)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'

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  (918): I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.' http://tfl.nu/i088
  Replies (8) Good night (3074) Bad night (1030)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.

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  (419): More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill. http://tfl.nu/mtxw
  Replies (6) Good night (3370) Bad night (1013)
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  (661): View more from California

  His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.

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  (661): His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that. http://tfl.nu/b2u0
  Replies (14) Good night (821) Bad night (3262)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  370HSSV 0773H read that upside down

  (1-925): View more from California

  what are you doing with your life

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  (925): 370HSSV 0773H read that upside down (1-925): what are you doing with your life http://tfl.nu/25tc
  Replies (19) Good night (5192) Bad night (1421)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.

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  (207): Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level. http://tfl.nu/8m2b
  Replies (3) Good night (2377) Bad night (675)
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  (916): View more from California

  Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable

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  (916): Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/5q9j
  Replies (5) Good night (827) Bad night (1219)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...

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  (786): the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words... http://tfl.nu/e7uv
  Replies (0) Good night (1088) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.

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  (203): Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed. http://tfl.nu/vekr
  Replies (5) Good night (958) Bad night (597)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.

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  (780): I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities. http://tfl.nu/3c8w
  Replies (2) Good night (421) Bad night (687)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes

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  (970): I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes http://tfl.nu/f5p7
  Replies (2) Good night (437) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.

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  (202): With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase. http://tfl.nu/fzjk
  Replies (9) Good night (913) Bad night (363)

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