Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.

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  (617): Yes. UR adorable in a weird way. http://tfl.nu/w3l6
  Replies (5) Good night (1228) Bad night (704)
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  (323): View more from California

  i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Special does not even begin to describe that text.

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  (323): i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet. (918): Special does not even begin to describe that text. http://tfl.nu/d8xn
  Replies (6) Good night (3915) Bad night (1801)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"

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  (202): you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!" http://tfl.nu/xr8i
  Replies (46) Good night (5609) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.

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  (647): TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW. http://tfl.nu/946s
  Replies (13) Good night (6254) Bad night (1030)
• Favorite

  (474): View more from

  Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.

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  (474): Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now. http://tfl.nu/0awf
  Replies (28) Good night (6648) Bad night (1243)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be

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  (916): Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be http://tfl.nu/iw79
  Replies (24) Good night (1026) Bad night (4451)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.

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  (330): I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it. http://tfl.nu/zgfe
  Replies (18) Good night (4258) Bad night (1290)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing

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  (904): the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing http://tfl.nu/38nr
  Replies (2) Good night (3282) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper

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  (559): I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper http://tfl.nu/pzfa
  Replies (21) Good night (5170) Bad night (1752)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.

  (254): View more from Texas

  Tornado warnings are fun!

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  (254): Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows. (254): Tornado warnings are fun! http://tfl.nu/9sqb
  Replies (13) Good night (3401) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know

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  (810): I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know http://tfl.nu/zbvb
  Replies (3) Good night (2039) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.

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  (406): Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/8if7
  Replies (9) Good night (801) Bad night (1251)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.

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  (828): She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle. http://tfl.nu/0ke0
  Replies (3) Good night (379) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.

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  (856): He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that? (443): YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE. http://tfl.nu/t1lf
  Replies (3) Good night (547) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.

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  (901): I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages. http://tfl.nu/odrd
  Replies (1) Good night (331) Bad night (203)

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