Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

Just got yelled at by a priest...again.

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(916): Just got yelled at by a priest...again. http://tfl.nu/n99j

Replies (5) Good night (1383) Bad night (623)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.

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(575): She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary. http://tfl.nu/4ghz

Replies (18) Good night (4290) Bad night (1016)
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(817): View more from Texas

just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.

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(817): just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing. http://tfl.nu/3pw8

Replies (18) Good night (5832) Bad night (576)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night

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(617): I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night http://tfl.nu/u1r5

Replies (29) Good night (1820) Bad night (7172)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.

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(203): My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression. http://tfl.nu/go1x

Replies (52) Good night (1165) Bad night (5110)
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(360): View more from Washington

He made me a "booty call of the year" award.

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(360): He made me a "booty call of the year" award. http://tfl.nu/7b1z

Replies (15) Good night (3759) Bad night (1239)
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(+61): View more from Australia

You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.

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(+61): You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes. http://tfl.nu/b96e

Replies (2) Good night (2030) Bad night (876)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots

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(605): When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots http://tfl.nu/ud2p

Replies (7) Good night (1255) Bad night (541)
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(216): View more from Ohio

5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes

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(216): 5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes http://tfl.nu/ja2o

Replies (8) Good night (1520) Bad night (617)
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(352): View more from Florida

As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back

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(352): As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back http://tfl.nu/26q8

Replies (5) Good night (1387) Bad night (534)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.

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(605): I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits. http://tfl.nu/1m96

Replies (3) Good night (1086) Bad night (400)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?

(416): View more from Toronto

I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way

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(416): Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again? (416): I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way http://tfl.nu/h01t

Replies (4) Good night (609) Bad night (979)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink

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(402): I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink http://tfl.nu/3wto

Replies (8) Good night (850) Bad night (275)
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(269): View more from Michigan

Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...

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(269): Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still... http://tfl.nu/u0uu

Replies (5) Good night (1220) Bad night (416)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Why are you there anyways?

(248): View more from Michigan

Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist

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(313): Why are you there anyways? (248): Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist http://tfl.nu/9tvc

Replies (4) Good night (804) Bad night (319)

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