haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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