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• (209): View more from California

  Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?

  Fav 20 3964 1692

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"

  Fav 13 994 2663

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• (518): View more from New York

  I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights

  Fav 3 1712 819

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine

  Fav 5 1349 805

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  23 Annoying things Girls Do When They’re Trying To Be Cute

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (714): View more from California

  I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again

  Fav 5 826 2063

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.

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• (562): View more from California

  Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.

  Fav 2 1102 661

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  "Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."

  Fav 2 791 598

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• (315): View more from New York

  Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"

  Fav 0 500 445

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (514): View more from Quebec

  He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.

  Fav 7 543 518

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.

  Fav 1 163 139

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• (415): View more from California

  He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest

  Fav 2 222 162

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• (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no

  Fav 5 52 24

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