the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
