I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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