When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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