Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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