it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
