I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize