im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize