Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
