I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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