You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize