There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
