why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
