it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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