Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
