dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
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Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
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She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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