My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
