I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
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While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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