Kiss
Puke
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
do herpes really smell.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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