Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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