Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just had sex bonerless
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
