wat bout pragnant strippers??
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
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