in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
