Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
