I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize