If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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