it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
