His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize