You're completely useless in the revolution.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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