Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
