The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize