Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
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