If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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