Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
