Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
