i was rollin on her like bob the builder
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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